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Repairing What Was Never Repaired
ByJo Oxley(Why This Is Where Attachment Work Truly Lives) There’s a common misconception in therapy that change happens in moments of insight. A realisation lands.A pattern makes sense.A link to childhood becomes clear. These moments matter – but in attachment-informed work, they’re rarely where the deepest healing occurs. That happens somewhere else entirely. It happens in…
Myth: Attachment-based therapy is too abstract to apply to real-world problems. The truth: Neuroscience helps therapists turn attachment concepts
ByJo OxleyAttachment-Based Therapy Isn’t “Too Abstract”—Here’s How Neuroscience Makes It Practical If you’ve ever dismissed attachment-based therapy as too abstract or “theoretical,” you’re not alone. It’s easy to feel that way when terms like secure attachment, internal working models, or attachment styles are thrown around in ways that sound more academic than actionable. But here’s the…
Why Insight Doesn’t Soothe a Dysregulated Nervous System
ByJo Oxley(And What Actually Helps Instead) There’s a familiar experience many counsellors share – often with a hint of frustration they feel they shouldn’t admit. The client understands. They can name the pattern.They can trace it back to childhood.They can explain exactly why they react the way they do. And yet… nothing changes. The same anxiety…
Ever noticed how some people seem to stay calm in a storm, while others go into full fight-or-flight?
ByJo OxleyIt’s not just personality—it often comes down to attachment. Yep, the stuff we usually associate with childhood has a big say in how our adult brains handle stress. Attachment theory tells us that our early relationships shape the way we connect with others—and how safe we feel doing so. That sense of safety (or lack…
The Circle of Security: What Parenting Teaches Us About Therapy (and Why It Matters for Counsellors in Training)
ByJo OxleyIf you’ve ever sat with a client and quietly thought, “Ah… this is an old dance they’ve been doing since childhood,” then you’re already brushing up against one of the most elegant and compassionate models in the attachment world: the Circle of Security. Whether you’re a parent, a therapist, a supervisor, or simply a human…
What We Miss When We Stay in the Here and Now
ByJo Oxley(Why Developmental Thinking Changes Everything) There’s a quiet assumption woven into much therapeutic work:that if we stay present-focused enough, insight and change will follow. For many clients, this is true. But for others – often those with early relational trauma – something essential gets missed when therapy remains anchored only in the present. These are…
