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New Year Resolutions – Old Patterns: The Challenge of Change Through an Attachment Lens
ByJo OxleyBy a therapist with a soft spot for attachment theory and a healthy scepticism about January makeovers Every January we are invited—no, instructed—to reinvent ourselves. New bodies. New habits. New lives. It’s a seductive promise, usually delivered alongside a discounted gym membership and a faint sense of personal failure. But from an attachment perspective, most…
“I Don’t Do Inner Child Work”
ByJo Oxley(What Might That Be Protecting?) Many counsellors say it – sometimes confidently, sometimes cautiously: “I don’t really do inner child work.” It’s often followed by a rationale: These concerns are understandable. Inner child work has, at times, been poorly taught, loosely defined, or practiced without enough containment. And yet, from an attachment-informed perspective, it’s worth…
When You Feel Useless, Bored, Anxious or Pulled to Rescue
ByJo Oxley(Why Your Reactions Matter More Than You Think) There are moments in therapy we rarely speak about openly. Moments when you feel oddly flat.Restless.Anxious.Pulled to reassure or fix.Quietly ineffective. These reactions can feel uncomfortable – even unprofessional. We’re trained to focus on the client’s internal world, not our own. And yet, attachment-informed practice asks us…
Behaviour Is Never the Problem: It’s the Clue
ByJo OxleyThere’s a moment many counsellors recognise, even if we don’t always say it out loud. A client does the thing again. And somewhere inside us – usually quietly, a thought flickers: Why does this keep happening? It’s often at this point that behaviour starts to feel like the problem. We might dress it up in…
