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When Clients Fear Calm More Than Chaos
(Why Safety Can Feel Like a Threat) There’s a moment in therapy that can quietly unsettle even experienced counsellors. The work has been steady.The client feels more regulated.Sessions are calmer.There’s less crisis, less urgency. And then – something shifts. The client becomes anxious again.They create conflict.They miss a session.They suddenly question the therapy itself. It…
When Daughters become Mothers – The Attachment Story Behind the Pram
When Daughters Become Mothers: The Attachment Story Behind the Pram When a daughter becomes a mother, it isn’t just a change in role, it’s a seismic shift in the heart, the mind, and often the sense of self. It’s a chapter where the past, present, and future meet in the smallest of bundles. Recently, I…
Inviting Dependence to Grow Independence: How Secure Attachment Shapes Children — and Heals Adults in Therapy
Gordon Neufeld’s beautiful words offer a simple but profound truth about human development: “To foster independence we must first invite dependence… We liberate children not by making them work for our love but by letting them rest in it.” Most parents instinctively feel the wisdom in this, even if the world around them sometimes encourages…
There Is Always a Child in the Room
(Even When the Client Is 58) At some point in attachment-informed practice, many counsellors have a quiet realisation. The client sitting in front of us may be an adult – articulate, capable, reflective – and yet something else is present too. A fear that feels too big.A longing that feels strangely young.A reaction that seems…
5 Signs It’s Time to Renew & Reconnect in Your Relationship
Signs Your Relationship Needs a Couples Retreat Every relationship goes through seasons — some warm and bright, others stormy or stagnant. That’s normal. But when the storm clouds linger or the spark feels like it’s fading, couples often wonder: “Is this just a phase, or do we need help?” Attachment theory reminds us that our…
When You Feel Useless, Bored, Anxious or Pulled to Rescue
(Why Your Reactions Matter More Than You Think) There are moments in therapy we rarely speak about openly. Moments when you feel oddly flat.Restless.Anxious.Pulled to reassure or fix.Quietly ineffective. These reactions can feel uncomfortable – even unprofessional. We’re trained to focus on the client’s internal world, not our own. And yet, attachment-informed practice asks us…
