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Repairing What Was Never Repaired
(Why This Is Where Attachment Work Truly Lives) There’s a common misconception in therapy that change happens in moments of insight. A realisation lands.A pattern makes sense.A link to childhood becomes clear. These moments matter – but in attachment-informed work, they’re rarely where the deepest healing occurs. That happens somewhere else entirely. It happens in…
Myth: Attachment-based therapy is too abstract to apply to real-world problems. The truth: Neuroscience helps therapists turn attachment concepts
Attachment-Based Therapy Isn’t “Too Abstract”—Here’s How Neuroscience Makes It Practical If you’ve ever dismissed attachment-based therapy as too abstract or “theoretical,” you’re not alone. It’s easy to feel that way when terms like secure attachment, internal working models, or attachment styles are thrown around in ways that sound more academic than actionable. But here’s the…
There’s No Such Thing as Naughty: Attachment and the Misunderstood Child
Recently, I’ve been watching my little angel, aka sausage, my two-year-old granddaughter, navigate the enormous transition of becoming a big sister. It’s been a front-row seat to the sibling dance: the tug-of-war between love and curiosity, excitement and jealousy, all wrapped in a tiny body with even tinier words to express it. There have been…
“I Don’t Do Inner Child Work”
(What Might That Be Protecting?) Many counsellors say it – sometimes confidently, sometimes cautiously: “I don’t really do inner child work.” It’s often followed by a rationale: These concerns are understandable. Inner child work has, at times, been poorly taught, loosely defined, or practiced without enough containment. And yet, from an attachment-informed perspective, it’s worth…
Behaviour Is Never the Problem: It’s the Clue
There’s a moment many counsellors recognise, even if we don’t always say it out loud. A client does the thing again. And somewhere inside us – usually quietly, a thought flickers: Why does this keep happening? It’s often at this point that behaviour starts to feel like the problem. We might dress it up in…
Ever noticed how some people seem to stay calm in a storm, while others go into full fight-or-flight?
It’s not just personality—it often comes down to attachment. Yep, the stuff we usually associate with childhood has a big say in how our adult brains handle stress. Attachment theory tells us that our early relationships shape the way we connect with others—and how safe we feel doing so. That sense of safety (or lack…
