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Beyond Bowlby: The Roots of Attachment Theory
Neuroscience: Bowlby’s Ideas Meet the Modern Brain Bowlby’s brilliance lay not only in his observations but in his ability to weave ideas from multiple disciplines into a coherent model of human connection. For clinicians, understanding these influences can provide richer insight into why early relationships are so foundational.Neuroscience: Bowlby’s Ideas Meet the Modern Brain While…
Building a Picture of a Client’s Internal World
How I Build a Picture of a Client’s Internal World I’ve been thinking about how I start to build a picture of a client’s internal world. Not just by listening to the story, although of course the story matters. I’m also listening to the body, the pauses, the shame, the little flinches, the way the…
From Fear to Compassion: Working with BPD Through an Attachment Lens
Borderline Personality Disorder is often met with fear in clinical spaces—but through the lens of attachment theory, we see not manipulation, but survival. This piece reframes BPD with compassion and grounded therapeutic insight
When You Feel Useless, Bored, Anxious or Pulled to Rescue
(Why Your Reactions Matter More Than You Think) There are moments in therapy we rarely speak about openly. Moments when you feel oddly flat.Restless.Anxious.Pulled to reassure or fix.Quietly ineffective. These reactions can feel uncomfortable – even unprofessional. We’re trained to focus on the client’s internal world, not our own. And yet, attachment-informed practice asks us…
Ever noticed how some people seem to stay calm in a storm, while others go into full fight-or-flight?
It’s not just personality—it often comes down to attachment. Yep, the stuff we usually associate with childhood has a big say in how our adult brains handle stress. Attachment theory tells us that our early relationships shape the way we connect with others—and how safe we feel doing so. That sense of safety (or lack…
When Clients Fear Calm More Than Chaos
(Why Safety Can Feel Like a Threat) There’s a moment in therapy that can quietly unsettle even experienced counsellors. The work has been steady.The client feels more regulated.Sessions are calmer.There’s less crisis, less urgency. And then – something shifts. The client becomes anxious again.They create conflict.They miss a session.They suddenly question the therapy itself. It…
