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When the Inner Child Hijacks the Session
(And How Not to Panic) There are moments in therapy when something shifts suddenly. A client who was reflective becomes overwhelmed. Tears escalate quickly.Words disappear.The room feels tighter, louder, more urgent. And inside the therapist, a familiar response can arise: I’ve lost them.This is too much.I need to do something – now. This is often…
New Year Resolutions – Old Patterns: The Challenge of Change Through an Attachment Lens
By a therapist with a soft spot for attachment theory and a healthy scepticism about January makeovers Every January we are invited—no, instructed—to reinvent ourselves. New bodies. New habits. New lives. It’s a seductive promise, usually delivered alongside a discounted gym membership and a faint sense of personal failure. But from an attachment perspective, most…
This is just how I’ve always reacted
It’s a common phrase in therapy—but it’s not the truth. Stress responses aren’t fixed traits. They’re learned patterns shaped by early attachment—and they can be rewired through relational healing
The Tyranny of Expectations: Finding Peace in “Good Enough”
When Expectation Meets Reality Therapists spend a lot of time helping clients make sense of disappointment — that aching gap between what we hoped for and what is. But if we’re honest, we’re not immune to it ourselves. We expect to feel centred and compassionate every day, to know what we’re doing, to manage our…
When You Feel Useless, Bored, Anxious or Pulled to Rescue
(Why Your Reactions Matter More Than You Think) There are moments in therapy we rarely speak about openly. Moments when you feel oddly flat.Restless.Anxious.Pulled to reassure or fix.Quietly ineffective. These reactions can feel uncomfortable – even unprofessional. We’re trained to focus on the client’s internal world, not our own. And yet, attachment-informed practice asks us…
Ever noticed how some people seem to stay calm in a storm, while others go into full fight-or-flight?
It’s not just personality—it often comes down to attachment. Yep, the stuff we usually associate with childhood has a big say in how our adult brains handle stress. Attachment theory tells us that our early relationships shape the way we connect with others—and how safe we feel doing so. That sense of safety (or lack…
