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What We Miss When We Stay in the Here and Now
ByJo Oxley(Why Developmental Thinking Changes Everything) There’s a quiet assumption woven into much therapeutic work:that if we stay present-focused enough, insight and change will follow. For many clients, this is true. But for others – often those with early relational trauma – something essential gets missed when therapy remains anchored only in the present. These are…
When the Inner Child Hijacks the Session
ByJo Oxley(And How Not to Panic) There are moments in therapy when something shifts suddenly. A client who was reflective becomes overwhelmed. Tears escalate quickly.Words disappear.The room feels tighter, louder, more urgent. And inside the therapist, a familiar response can arise: I’ve lost them.This is too much.I need to do something – now. This is often…
I Didn’t Set Out to Train Therapists -I Just Kept Saying Yes to What Mattered
ByJo OxleyI didn’t wake up one morning and decide to run attachment training programmes for therapists. There was no grand plan, no five-year strategy, no sudden urge to create courses and qualifications. What there was, however, was a growing awareness – one that emerged slowly, quietly, and persistently -from sitting with people. At that time, my…
The First 1,000 Days of life – Why They Matter More Than We Realise
ByJo OxleyThe First 1,000 Days – Why They Matter More Than We Realise We often talk about childhood shaping the adult self, but there’s a particular window of time – conception through to around age three – that’s quietly doing some of the heaviest lifting in human development. Neuroscientists call it “the first 1,000 days”. Attachment…
The Client Who “Overreacts”
ByJo Oxley(A Nervous System Doing Its Job) There is a particular kind of moment in therapy that can catch even experienced counsellors off guard. A client reacts strongly – suddenly, intensely, and in a way that feels disproportionate to what’s just happened. A raised voice.Tears that arrive without warning.A sharp withdrawal.A look of panic, shame, or…
